Why get married?

Why should one get married? Why should we have children? The answer to most such questions becomes clear once we recognize and accept that our goal in life is be of service to others and put others' needs before our own.

Now, consider a typical bachelor. He cares for nothing. He has all the time in the world to do the things he pleases. He only pursues the things he likes - his favorite food, his favorite music, his favorite movie stars etc.

Now, consider a typical married man with children. He has to be more responsible. If not for anything else, he has to care for his children. He has to drive safely because there are children in the car. He has to be financially responsible and save for his children's education, the family's health etc. He always seems to be out of time for anything he likes to do. He has to cut short his parties because his children sleep at 9 PM. Whenever there is a contest between his favorite something and his kids' favorite something, the kid's favorites almost always get the upper-hand.

By considering the above two cases - a typical bachelor and a typical married man with children - it is clear that one moves from being more self-centered, to being of service to his family after getting married. That is precisely the point of marriage and having children. When you get married, you think about not just yourself, but about the well-being of you and your spouse. When you have children, you think about your entire family and their well-being. Thus, marriage has taught you to be of service to others and put their needs above your own.
Of course, it is not enough to stop with being of service just to your family. Marriage and having children just gets us started on this path of service to others. We are supposed to slowly expand this circle or sphere of service beyond spouse, beyond immediate family, beyond extended family, friends, relatives etc. to as big a sphere as possible. It is easy to find examples of people who have extended this sphere to include an entire nation (mahAtmA gAndhi), the entire humanity (Mother Teresa) and even all living beings. It is also easy to find examples of people who have gotten married, had children, but still failed to expand their sphere of service beyond just themselves, or beyond just themselves and their spouses etc., thus negating the purpose of marriage. We must take care not to fall into this selfish category.

Now, a question may arise. There are so many saints who havent married, yet they are compassionate and are of selfless service to mankind. So, is marriage necessary to impart this training to serve others? The answer is No. If one is already at the selfless state of mind, marriage may not be necessary (in fact, for such saints, marriage may be a hindrance to service, particularly if their spouse turned out to be not quite at the same state of mind as they are). But, for most of us lesser mortals, the training that marriage and having children gives in serving others, is very much necessary in preparing us to lead useful lives.

Why are there so many religions?

A religion is something that shows people, the path to God. For example, let us say there is a tall building and God is on the top of that tall building. Now, the stairs in the building that lead people to the top floor will be the religion. Now, people can be on different floors in that building. Also, based on their sight and strength, different people consider different floors to be the top of the building. For example, let us say, one person has never gone beyond the 18th floor of that building. He would consider the person on the 18th floor as God and the stairs leading upto the 18th floor as his religion. While, some other person with a lot of strength and determination may have gone all the way to the 100th floor - to him, the person on the 100th floor might be God and all the stairs leading upto the 100th floor, his religion. He might even think his religion/God is superior to the 18th floor guy's religion/God, since he has gone farther and is able to see a lot more things from the 100th floor.

While one religion/God's superiority over others' is just people's perception, let us consider a different view of the whole thing. While the goal is the top of the building (God), it may not be possible to bring all people living in different levels of the building to the top in one attempt. For example, some people may be so engrossed in other things, that they may not even have the desire to see what it is like from the top of the building. Little do they know that there is paradise at the top of the building. For such people, it may be a great step to get them from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor. So, a religion that entices people to go from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor and a form of God that pleases 2nd floor people may be the most appropriate for such people. Once they get to the 2nd floor, they could be moved up to higher floors in subsequent attempts. Thus, you could have a religion that takes people from the 2nd floor to the 3rd floor and a form of God at the 3rd floor that pleases/rewards them differently (3rd floor people may have already seen 2nd floor level of happiness. So, 3rd floor God may have to please them differently). In this fashion, you could have different forms of God that iteratively take people to higher and higher floors until everyone reaches the absolute top floor.

This is why Swami Nammazhwar says (Tamil verse from Thiruvaaimozhi):
Avaravar thamathamadhu arivari vagaivagai
Avaravar iraiyavar ena adi adaivargal
Avaravar iraiyavar kuraivilar iraiyavar
Avaravar vidhi vazhi adaiya nindranare!

அவரவர் தமதமது அறிவறி வகைவகை
அவரவர் இறையவர் என அடி அடைவர்கள்
அவரவர் இறையவர் குறைவிலர் இறையவர்
அவரவர் விதி வழி அடைய நின்றனரே!

In the above analogy, consider there being a lift in the building that takes people, irrespective of what floor they are in, directly to the top floor (in just one attempt) where the highest form of God resides. Such a lift is Sharanaagathi (complete surrender to God). Anyone, at any level of life can use it and it is the fastest and easiest means to reach the final destination. May one and all discover the lift and benefit from it!

Why go through the Birth/Death cycle?

It is said that: Paramathma is full of compassion and suffers due to the sufferings of the Jeevathmas in this world. His goal is to have us all with Him after relieving each and every one from worldly bondage.

A question that may arise is: So, why cant He just have us with Him in the first place? Why does He have to let us into this world and then, have us all back?

Now, let us try to answer this question. When we have a jewel in our posession, do we want to just keep it locked inside, or do we want to bring it out, and wear it for everyone else to see? When a jewel is kept without being used, it just accumulates dust and even loses its glitter by becoming dirty. On the other hand, if it is properly used frequently, it glitters and shines and pleases everyone. Thus the true nature of a jewel (its glitter and shine) comes out only when it is outside in the light.

Jeevathmas are Paramathma's jewels. Jeevathmas belong to and only to the Paramathma (Lord Sriman Narayana). Only when Jeevathmas are let out into this world, their true nature comes out - only by coming to this world, the azhwars were able to pour their hearts out in the Divya Prabandhams, the philanthropists are able to perform their benevolent deeds etc. Thus, by periodically letting Jeevathmas into this world, He constantly purifies us and takes us back to Him.

Of course, when He lets us into this world, there is the big chance that we lose focus and get distracted by physical/material things, thereby tarnishing our true nature of doing only things that please Him. This is similar to a jewel being used for the wrong purpose like adorning the sole of a shoe. Only to prevent this from happening, He constantly reminds us of our goal by means of the teachings in the Vedas, the examples set forth in His Avatars, the concise and easily understood teachings in the Divya Prabandhams and last but not the least, the words of our Acharyas. Let us focus on our goal and increase the glitter in us (His jewels) and make Him happy.

Why be a Vegetarian?

All the energy in this world comes from the Sun. This energy is then absorbed by different beings in different ways. Plants catch this energy directly from the Sun and by the process of photosynthesis absorb this energy and grow. I believe and have heard that there are saints who can do the same - absorb energy directly from the sun without having to eat any food. And then there are animals (those that are lower in the food chain), that eat the plants and get the energy from the Sun, through plants. Vegetarians also get their energy from the Sun, through plants. Animals that are higher in the food chain and non-vegetarians eat animals and get the energy from the Sun through plants through other animals.

Now, the direct energy from the Sun is of the purest nature. As this energy passes through plants and through animals, it accumulates some of the nature of the plants and animals through which it passes, and so it become gradually impure.

Our thoughts and actions and our nature is determined by the food we consume, i.e. the energy we consume. The thoughts and actions of someone who always consumes the pure form of energy will be pure, while the thoughts and actions of someone who consumes impure energy will be impure. Now, what is pure and what is impure?

Our goal in life is to be of service to others, to put others' needs above our own needs. This concept is present in almost every religion - that is why giving alms, charity, donation etc. are an integral part of religions. In SriViashnavism also the same concept is upheld formeost - Bhagavat kainkaryam (service to God) and Bhaagavatha kainkaryam (service to fellow beings, not just human beings but all beings) is the ultimate goal. The sole purpose of Madhurakavi Azhvar was to reinforce Bhaagavatha kainkaryam as the ultimate goal. So now, with service to others and putting others' needs above our own needs being the ultimate goal, any action or thought that is aligned with the ultimate goal is pure and any other thought that is not aligned with the ultimate goal is impure. i.e. If a thought or action is for servicing others and putting others' needs above our own needs, it is a pure thought or action. Any other thought or action is impure.

Since the purity of the energy we consume controls the purity of our thought or actions, it is better to consume as pure a form of energy as we can. Directly consuming energy from the sun is beyond our reach for most of us. So, the best we can do is be vegetarian, so our thoughts and actions will be directed towards servicing others and putting others' needs above our own. This is why Thiruvalluvar in his Thirukkural says:
"Than Oon perukkarkuth thaan piridhu Oon unbaan, enganam aalum Arul",
"தன் ஊன் பெருக்கற்குத் தான் பிறிது ஊன் உண்பான் எங்ஙனம் ஆளும் அருள்"
meaning, "If one eats anothers' body in order to build ones own body, he will not have the quality Arul". "Arul" is compassion towards fellow beings, putting others' needs above our own.