Why get married?

Why should one get married? Why should we have children? The answer to most such questions becomes clear once we recognize and accept that our goal in life is be of service to others and put others' needs before our own.

Now, consider a typical bachelor. He cares for nothing. He has all the time in the world to do the things he pleases. He only pursues the things he likes - his favorite food, his favorite music, his favorite movie stars etc.

Now, consider a typical married man with children. He has to be more responsible. If not for anything else, he has to care for his children. He has to drive safely because there are children in the car. He has to be financially responsible and save for his children's education, the family's health etc. He always seems to be out of time for anything he likes to do. He has to cut short his parties because his children sleep at 9 PM. Whenever there is a contest between his favorite something and his kids' favorite something, the kid's favorites almost always get the upper-hand.

By considering the above two cases - a typical bachelor and a typical married man with children - it is clear that one moves from being more self-centered, to being of service to his family after getting married. That is precisely the point of marriage and having children. When you get married, you think about not just yourself, but about the well-being of you and your spouse. When you have children, you think about your entire family and their well-being. Thus, marriage has taught you to be of service to others and put their needs above your own.
Of course, it is not enough to stop with being of service just to your family. Marriage and having children just gets us started on this path of service to others. We are supposed to slowly expand this circle or sphere of service beyond spouse, beyond immediate family, beyond extended family, friends, relatives etc. to as big a sphere as possible. It is easy to find examples of people who have extended this sphere to include an entire nation (mahAtmA gAndhi), the entire humanity (Mother Teresa) and even all living beings. It is also easy to find examples of people who have gotten married, had children, but still failed to expand their sphere of service beyond just themselves, or beyond just themselves and their spouses etc., thus negating the purpose of marriage. We must take care not to fall into this selfish category.

Now, a question may arise. There are so many saints who havent married, yet they are compassionate and are of selfless service to mankind. So, is marriage necessary to impart this training to serve others? The answer is No. If one is already at the selfless state of mind, marriage may not be necessary (in fact, for such saints, marriage may be a hindrance to service, particularly if their spouse turned out to be not quite at the same state of mind as they are). But, for most of us lesser mortals, the training that marriage and having children gives in serving others, is very much necessary in preparing us to lead useful lives.